Watch Out! My Baby Has Started To Crawl!

Nueva pubicación en Womens Web!

Babies can be magical when they start to move on their own and explore the world around. But it also means that they are in danger, and you need to make it safe for them.

We parents tend to be anxious about the newly acquired skills of our kids. When they are born we are waiting for that magic moment when the baby starts recognizing us. When they recognize us we wait for the moment the baby is able to sit, and when the baby is finally able to dominate his body and remains seated, we can’t wait for the moment he starts crawling.

It is at this stage of the baby’s development that we need to start thinking about limits. Our baby is growing and more autonomous. If you are at this stage in life the following tips will prepare the whole family for a vey important time in your life.

Setting boundaries

One of the key elements in order to become a conscious mother is to be able to establish a balance between freedom and the limits we want to impose on in our children’s lives. If we do it right we will be helping them to develop better.

The first time we realise about this is when our baby starts crawling or moving in any way independent from his parents. For the first time, the baby discovers he is not totally dependent any more. He finds out that if he wants to grab a toy or caress the dog, he just has to move that tiny body and do it!

As parents, we discover that now we have to measure the consequences on either letting them be, or place some physical limitations so that the baby does not have access to certain places in the house. Mainly, what we need to do is to limit the baby’s movement in those places where it can be dangerous, all the rest he should be able to experiment and touch and climb while we do not lose sight of him. This way, he will develop his motor skills fully. This system requires our time and our total attention, so that he can investigate on his own but with our eyes on his back. Everything will be attractive to him, thus we need to be aware.

Keeping danger off limits

Firstly, we need to establish which are the rooms in the house that could be more dangerous. Generally the kitchen, the garden and the toilets. If there are stairs anywhere in the house we should add those areas to what I call ‘precaution areas’. It doesn’t mean the baby should never access them, because with this concept we would have our baby most of the time inside the cradle or sitting on his trolley. This is exactly what we want to avoid. In a two-storey house, we should accompany our baby in his trial and error when climbing. If he loses the balance we can catch him, but we are giving him the chance to experiment and develop his motor skills.

Ideally, the baby should have a full danger-free room or space to move around freely. This way he can choose where and how to crawl and start trying to stand up holding to the walls or a piece of furniture.

Babies should not have any access to plugs and electric sockets. Buy safety guards, they are unexpensive and eliminate the risks.

NO!

Sometimes babies access to them all the same, step by step try to teach him the meaning of ¨NO¨- They will understand the implications, though they will not always act accordingly. They are curious explorers and they want to touch everything that is at their hands.

Be careful with the use of the word ¨NO¨. If you overuse it, it will lose sense. As always, we should keep a balance.

Breakables

Loose wires should also be kept in a safe place. Our babies will grab and pull, throwing to the floor any breakable electronical equipment. Maybe, it is a good idea to do some redecoration throughout this process in order to prevent accidents. For instance, that beautiful light TV you have on the living room should be removed from there if the baby has easy access to it.

The same piece of advice goes for ornaments or tablecloths. Babies may hang on them and throw everything that is on the table. Consequences could be disastrous if there are glass or sharp objects.

In the kitchen, elements should be redistributed. For example, the wine bottles we bought for our next dinner with friends should be on a high shelf. The same with sharp and glass objects, cleaning products, candles, small objects that the baby could swallow, etc. Our little creature will try to open every drawer and door so we should pay attention to what he may find on the other side.

When the baby is already able to stand he will also try his climbing skills. We should take this into account if the baby has any access to a balcony, since there are some objects that are actually potential stairs in the eyes of a baby.

Being mindful

It seems impossible to have all this in mind, but it is not actually. It surely demands time to reorganise spaces and rooms in our house and to be watching our baby the whole time. The relationship that will arise at this moment of the baby´s development is crucial, it is the time when we need to balance betweem freedom and limits. This balance will be the safe base from where the baby grows in an autonomous way. It is an amazing journey to do hand in hand with your baby!

Image source: unsplash

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Regina Candel Martinez

6 Handy Hacks For Hassled Parents Who Want To Travel Abroad With A Baby- Women´s Web

Una nueva publicación en inglés en la revista para mujeres de la India Women´s Web. La pueden encontrar en el siguiente link o bien leerla a continuación.

https://www.womensweb.in/2018/10/how-to-travel-abroad-with-a-baby-oct18wk5sr/

6 Handy Hacks For Hassled Parents Who Want To Travel Abroad With A Baby

Want to make that overseas trip but worried about taking your baby along? Here’s help. Use these handy hacks and enjoy a comfortable and happy trip.

Having a baby puts our life upside down. When I was pregnant my friends and relatives used to tell me to enjoy my free time as fully as possible. Now I get it, they were absolutely right. Things change, but mothers can continue doing what they used to do, such as travelling, with a baby.

Though it may be a different experience, travelling with your baby can be extremely enriching for both of you!

Many posts claim that “travelling with a baby is not an easy task.” Of course, every experience is different depending on the baby’s personality, the type of trip, and the place where you go. In every situation, the key elements are predictability and organization, which will allow parents to cover all the baby’s basic needs, thus being able to enjoy every second of the trip. You need to know, for instance, that your baby will eventually be hungry, so you must be prepare for that. Planning will allow you to enjoy and to avoid difficult moments

The good news is that you start the journey before you even depart by preparing your luggage. It’s better to make a list beforehand and do some shopping!

Where to go

One way of planning a first-time trip with a baby is being acquainted with the destination you choose.

I have always gone to new places when I started off a new trip, but the first time I travelled with my baby I decided to go to a place I have already visited. This way I knew what to expect. I was relaxed, so I trasmitted that feeling to my baby and I could tell her what was about to happen. We both felt secure. We must be aware of the fact that a baby spends a great amount of energy in adapting to the new smells and noises, and every other stimulus that surrounds her.

Pre-decide itinerary, and book rooms

In the past, I have never booked my accommodation beforehand when travelling. Things have changed with the appearance of apps and websites that allow you to see pictures and reviews of the hotels. These are great tools when travelling with a baby. It allows us to plan our trip much better. We don’t want to get to our destination with a hungry, sleepy baby and not know where to stay.

I usually choose rooms that also offer a kitchen, or hotels with a shared-kitchen, so as to be able to continue with a healthy diet for my baby. Besides parents are able to rest in the room while the baby sleeps at night. This way we don’t have to leave the room to have dinner, and stress the baby with a night out.

Another important element to consider is asking for a cradle in advance. This way we can give the baby as much comfort as possible, so that when she sleeps we are sure she is really resting and recovering energies to face the following day.

In-flight comfort

Flights must be previously planned as well. Usually, airlines offer a small cradle for babies under 22 lbs, but these must be booked beforehand. If the baby is over that size, she can travel on the lap of her mother or you can choose to book another seat for her. This last option might be more expensive, but it is the best one if you are having more than 8 hours in-flight. This way you are sure you will rest, and get to your destination with some energy to continue moving.

If your flight is of around 12 hours, the best decision is to travel day-time, so as not to turn the schedule for your sleep and the baby’s upside down.

Travelling light

Surely, you have heard the phrase ‘travel light. It’s a good piece of advise for life in general, be a minimalist. This is the key to travelling as well, mainly if you are doing it with a baby. Nowadays, there is massive consumerism of baby products and we are bombarded with merchandising, so mothers want to have it all.

Everything seems indispensable at home, but the feeling changes when we need to carry the burden of backpacks and suitcases. It is recommended to take a suitcase of no more than 26lbs and a middle-size backpack to wear throughout the day. This should have internal divisions so as to organize the objects to feed the baby, another to change the baby and a third one for our own personal belongings. This amount of luggage should be enough for the baby’s and your stuff, both for a weekend or for a month-long trip. In the last case we should only add some more clothes for our baby considering that she has at least three nappy and clothes change a day, and sometimes more!

You don’t need much when travelling, but you need to be space-efficient and predict what may happen, such as moments in which your baby might be hungry or bored. It is advisable to have little bags so as to put in the used diaper after being changed, as there may not always be a dustbin around when you need it. Your baby may get sick, so you should also have some medicine and a thermometer at hand.

In addition, you should carry some elements that will help your baby to feel at home, something she is used to, such as her security blanket.

Organising your luggage

In case your baby is fed with formula and you need to travel by plane, you need to know that Airlines allow no more than 3 or 4 cartons of 200ml milk in the hand luggage. Besides, if you are carrying any cream, it should not be larger than 100ml and should be packed and presented in a clear plastic bag. You can’t bring any sharp-pointed objects, so that if you usually have a pair of scissors to cut the milk cartons or trimmers for your baby’s nails, you will have to put these elements inside the check-in luggage.

It is good to plan this in advance, so as not to have more delays at customs controls.

Regarding the baby trolley, I have a clear position: I always take it wherever I go. Airlines do not charge extra for dispatching it and you are allowed to use it both at the check-in area or when you are about to get on the plane. I believe it is an important element to make your baby feel comfortable if she wants to take a nap during a stroll in the city. She will have to face many changes, and we don’t want to add any more stress.

List of essentials

Suitcase

• Clothes (Winter or summer clothes according to your destination)
• Blanket
• Cradle cheets
• Security blanket
• Medicine
• Thermometer
• Trimmer
• Body cream
• Milk for first two days
• Diapers for first two days
• Sun cream
• Extra baby bottle
• Extra baby dummies

Backpack

• Diapers
• Cream to clean the baby
• Small towel
• Baby toys
• Baby dummy
• Baby bottle with warm milk
• Extra milk cartons
• Plastic bags
• Extra clothes change
• Blanket
• Baby bottle with water
• Important documents, his/her ID, Passport, birth certificate.
• If possible a cel phone with urgency telephone numbers and the hotel´s address and telephone number at hand.

It seems all this plus your stuff is not going to fit together, but I promise it does!

Dont forget!

• Go slowly, take time to profit every minute with your baby.
• Observe how your baby is feeling, if she has her priorities covered then her parents will be able to enjoy the trip.
• Come back to the hotel early, try to enjoy that moment of peace with your baby as well.

You are ready to start this adventure with your baby, now it’s time to take the first step.

Regina Candel Martinez

Are Indian Women Treated As Human Beings? Through The Eyes Of A South American Woman [Part II]

Indian women and their lives are a mystery to western woman. Here is a look at the life of Indian women through the lens of a South American woman.

The train to Varanasi goes at a speed of 50 k/ph until it stops. For one reason or another it always stops. I am standing next to the door of the coach and observe what is happening outside. Nobody smiles. Three women are frowning and talking. I guess their conversation must be similar to three women having a chat inside a supermarket on the corner of my house in Argentina. They may be gossiping about someone’s lost love, about a naughty son or a piece of news on TV.

There is an image that moves me to tears. A réplica of Pieta. She is a young woman. I can see this though she has her head covered with a brown piece of cloth. She sits on some stones in the street. Her wrinkles appear only on the forehead and the mouth, which is reddish and pouting. She is so beautiful that she could be envied by any magazine model, but she is very far away from that world.

She has a nose stud and plenty of braceletswhich sound like a rattle when she moves. Her dirty hands are holding each other in order to create a cradle for her baby, who is wrapped in a white cloth. She does not seem to have more than what I see at this very moment. She is exhausted. One could tell that the baby did not decide to come to this world. She stares at him, she caresses him, she feeds him. Later, after some years, this mother will paint the child´s eyes with black kohl to protect him from a world of demons and evil. The train starts again. We go away, but the Pieta stays there. I stare at it until they become a tiny dot in the distance.

Being a mother in India is almost compulsory, it is a natural event in every woman’s life, even in those who want to experience other things in life. There is a thirty-year-old woman travelling on the train to Varanasi who works in the Indian Navy. She was a mother at the age of twenty eight, a little later than the average Indian women. Nevertheless, she is really surprised when she asks about my age: thirty-five years old and no children. What do Indian women feel when they see most women from the other side of the world with no desire to be a mother?

One of the reasons why women are so worried for having children, especially sons, is that government does not guarantee any retirement wage, so that children must take care of their parents when these grow old. Having only daughters can be considered a curse. Some women are forced to have an abortion when they realize they will have a daughter instead of a son. These are called ‘selected abortions’. Though abortion has been legalized in India, abortions determined by genre are not legal, but very common. As a consequence, there is currently an imbalance in the male-female population.

Another humiliating and horrifying practice is called ‘bride burning’. Spouses that can not have a son, or who haven’t got a good dowry, are often killed – burned alive and then claim that it was a home accident. Some groups report that only one case out of 300 gets to justice. Many women do not die but remain deformed.

Women living in cosmopolitan cities such as Bombay, those who belong to higher castes, those with whiter skin, those who appear in Bollywood movies, have a more open view of the female role in society. They are usually professionals or university students, they wear bikini at Goa Beach and can choose their couples. These are the few women who can actually take a seat at Parliament, which is represented by only 10% of women. This is India as well.

So, why is it that still most women are manipulated and humiliated? Why is it that they can not take decisions at home? It called my attention to the fact that in my search for Couchsurfing contacts, I only encountered profiles of 30-40-year old males living alone.

Rajashree Khalap lives in Bombay. She is a beautiful 42-year-old woman, delicate and extremely smart. At first sight, I had the impression she is a very organized lady, with a busy week. She invites me to her flat and I accept delighted by the idea of peeping in an Indian woman’s life. She picks me up with her car, but she is not driving. She has a driver, which is a common practice both for comfort and for security, since it is not very safe to be a woman driving her car alone in the chaotic streets.

We enter her apartment. She prepares two cups of delicious tea and we sit to chat. She tells me there is a privileged sector in society with educated and independent women who have the same opportunities as men. She is part of this group. She travels, has a free life and can make a living with her profession, she can choose her spouse, get married and then get divorced without being judged. She has never had the desire to be a mother and she is not pushed by anybody to feel differently. Unfortunately, these women are still a minority in society.

Rajashree explains that less educated and conservative women are usually less economically stable and have limited chances in life. Women’s status also varies according to region and culture. In some states, women are absolutely restricted, especially those to the North of the country, such as Haryana or Uttar Pradesh. While in some more southern states, such as Kerala, societies may be less patriarchal, though they are never fully matriarchal.

Before we say goodbye, Rajashree gives me some hope. Things have been changing for Indian women. In 1925 Sarojini Naidu was the first women chosen as National Congress President , the second one was Nellie Sengupta in 1933. In 1966 Indira Gandhi appeared on the scene, and triggered great changes. She was the only daughter of Jawaharlal Nehru, Indian Prime Minister after Independence from Great Britain in 1947. She started her active political participation in the 30’s until she is assassinated in 1984. She was a strong leader, with a powerful character. She was strong enough so as to eliminate all the benefits of the Maharajas in order to start building a true Republic.

Today, there are doctors and ministers that are women, though they are still a minority and have to work with greater effort in order to achieve what a man can.

History will tell us how life will continue changing for Indian women.

Regina Candel Martinez (Author) 

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Author's Blog: http://www.uniendo-caminos.blogspot.com.ar